Pain

I am in pain.. in excruciating pain.. Pain that I cannot comprehend.. It just comes and attack u for no reason.. Aduh sakit.. And its not even physical pain.. It is sooo much easier to admit defeat and let it conquer u.. But how can I? When I have a family to think of.. My husband, my daughter, my mum and dad... I dont want to repeat the episode again cos it was really really difficult.. Suppressing it is not as easy as i thought it would be.. I thought by simply ignoring it and blissfully carry on with my life, it would go away.. but it did not.. It attacks u like @$***&&^*&^%^... Like WTH, Im trying to be happy here!! Whats ur problem?? Why cant u go away??? but then I have to be patient with myself.. I have to give myself time.. Patience and time is what I need.. And its an ongoing battle.. tired and weary, but I have to move on.. Allah is by me.. and He wants to test me on how strong I could be.. I hope I can pass His test.. Insya Allah..